When that mellow guitar intro first chimes in, you might swear you’re listening to a late-night NPR special. Or watching an iPhoto slide show. Or maybe hanging out in a coffee shop somewhere in Georgia.

When that intro abruptly launches into a mid-tempo stomp rife with stock phrases about the joys of Friday-night beers and comfortable pairs of jeans, you might wonder how you’ve suddenly gone from elevator music to a Bud Light commercial.

When that mid-tempo stomp segues into a military drumroll and Brown takes a moment to throw out yet more stock phrases, this time about the sacrifices of our men and women in uniform, you might be utterly confused as to why a song celebrating rural lifestyle suddenly demanded this moment of simplistic patriotism.

And when that moment of simplistic patriotism finally gives way to a weird, reggae-lite reprisal of the song’s chorus, you might consider banging your head angrily against nearby walls and surfaces.

Moral of the story: an annoying, uncreatively written song is still an annoying, uncreatively written song, no matter how many different ways you dress it up. If the shameless pandering that comprises this ditty earns Brown and company a bankable radio hit, I hope they’ll consider buying me a new wall.

Written by Zac Brown and Wyatt Durrette

Grade: D

Listen: Chicken Fried